Subject: Greetings

Hi Friends,

 Just a note from Chattanooga, Tenn. We're making this base camp for another 2 weeks before moving on. We've been in Tupelo, Miss., Florence, Ala., and Scottsboro, Ala. in the past month or so. The last 4 sites have been along the Tennessee River. We're presently camped on a

Civil War Battlefield. Yesterday we drove over to Dahlonega, Ga. which used to be the biggest gold mining town east of the Mississippi. They found so much gold there that they built a mint there. The drive took us through the most beautiful mountains we've ever been in. Last week we were in another mountain area along a stream where they held the kayaking compotation for the

Atlantic Olympics. Lots of people on the stream that day. We've been in the motor home 10 months already. From here, we'll go over to Lake Lanier near Gainesville, GA. for awhile. Enjoy your summer!

 

 From Mike Kollross:

 

 

From Ken Johnson:

 Here are the Stellas for this past year -- 2011

 

 

 

 

 

From John Walters:

ATTORNEY'S ADVICE - NO CHARGE

Not A Joke!!   Even If you dislike attorneys. You will love them for these tips. Read this and make a copy for your files in case you need to refer to it someday. Maybe we should all take some of his advice! A corporate attorney sent the following out to the employees in his company: 1. Do not sign  the back of your credit cards. Instead, put 'PHOTO ID REQUIRED.'  2. When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts,  DO  NOT put the complete  account number on the 'For' line. Instead, just put the  last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number, and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check processing channels won't have access to it. 3. Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone. If you have a PO Box use that instead of your home address. If you do not have a PO Box, use your work address. Never  have your  SS# printed on your checks. (DUH!) You can add it if it is necessary. But if you have It printed, anyone can get it. 4. Place the contents of your wallet on photocopy machine. Do both sides of each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel.. Keep the photocopy in a safe place.  I also carry a photocopy of my passport when I travel either here or abroad. We've all heard horror stories about fraud that's committed on us in stealing a Name, address, Social Security number, credit cards.. Unfortunately, I, an attorney, have firsthand knowledge because my wallet was stolen last month. Within a week, the thieves ordered an expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record information online, and more.  But here's some critical information to limit the damage  in case this happens to you or someone you know: 5. We have been told we should  cancel our  credit cards immediately. But the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them. 6..  File a  police report immediately in the jurisdiction where your credit cards, etc., were stolen. This proves to credit providers you were diligent, and this is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one). But here's what is perhaps  most important of all: (I never even thought to do this.)  7. Call  the  3 national credit reporting organizations  immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and also call the Social Security fraud line number.. I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an application for credit was made over the Internet in my name.  The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen, and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit.. By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, all the damage had been done. There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert. Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet away this weekend (someone turned it in). It seems to have stopped them dead in their tracks.. Now, here are the numbers you always need to contact about your wallet, if it has been stolen: 1.) Equifax:  1-800-525-6285  1-800-525-6285  2.) Experian (formerly TRW):  1-888-397-3742  1-888-397-3742 3.) Trans Union :  1-800-680 7289  1-800-680 7289 4.) Social Security Administration (fraud line):  1-800-269-0271  1-800-269-0271  We pass along jokes on the Internet; we pass along just about everything. If you are willing to pass this information along, it could really help someone that you care about.

 

 

From Jim Alf:

 

 

 

From Anonymous:

 

Remember, not only did you contribute to Social Security but your employer did too. It totaled 15% of your income before taxes. If you averaged only $30K over your working life, that's close to $220,500. 

If you calculate the future value of $4,500 per year (yours & your employer's contribution) at a simple 5% (less than what the govt. pays on the money that it borrows), after 49 years of working you'd have $892,919.98. 

If you took out only 3% per year, you'd receive $26,787.60 per year and it would last better than 30 years (until you're 95 if you retire at age 65) and that's with no interest paid on that final amount on deposit! If you bought an annuity and it paid 4% per year, you'd have a lifetime income of $2,976.40 per month. 

The folks in Washington have pulled off a bigger Ponzi scheme than Bernie Madhoff ever had. 

Entitlement my a ** , I paid cash for my social security insurance! Just because they borrowed the money, doesn't make my benefits some kind of charity or handout! 

Congressional benefits ---- free health care, outrageous retirement packages, 67 paid holidays, three weeks paid vacation, unlimited paid sick days, now that's welfare, and they have the nerve to call my social security retirement entitlements? 

We're "broke" and can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless. 

In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti, Chile, and Turkey. And now Pakistan .... home of bin Laden. Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS! 

Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income' receive no aid nor do they get any breaks while our government and religious organizations pour Hundreds of Billions of $'s  and Tons of Food to Foreign Countries! 

They call Social Security and Medicare an entitlement even though most of us have been paying for it all our working lives and now when it's time for us to collect, the government is running out of money. Why did the government borrow from it in the first place?  Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave 'US' the same support they give to other countries. 

 

 

 

From Bob Maurer:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Received from many :

25 Great Truths & possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read:   

 

GREAT TRUTHS  

1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress.

- John Adams  

 

3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain
 
4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
- Winston Churchill
 
5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
- George Bernard Shaw
 
6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
- G. Gordon Liddy
 
7. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
- James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)
 
8. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
- Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University
 
9. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
 
10. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
- Frederic Bastiat, French economist(1801-1850)
 
11. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
- Ronald Reagan (1986)
 
12. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
- Will Rogers
 
13. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!
- P.J. O'Rourke
 
14. In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other
- Voltaire (1764)
 
15. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!
- Pericles (430 B.C.)
 
16. No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
- Mark Twain (1866)
 
17. Talk is cheap...  except when Congress does it.
- Anonymous
 
18. The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
- Ronald Reagan
 
19. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
- Winston Churchill
 
20. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
- Mark Twain
 
21. The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
- Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)
 
22. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class... save Congress.
- Mark Twain
 
23. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
- Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)
 
24. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
- Thomas Jefferson
 
25. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
- Aesop
 
 
FIVE BEST SENTENCES
 
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
 
2. What one person receives without working for...another person must work for without receiving.
 
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
 
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
 
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they worked for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation!

 

 

 

From Ken Johnson:

From Dick Stoltz:

From an unremembered source:
 Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
01.  Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02.. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
04. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 5 PM.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

   
From Brother Ron Bailey:

From Brother John Walter:

From Brother Dennis Arfsten:
Tick removal

From Brother Mike Schubert:

 

 

Charley Reese's final column for the Orlando Sentinel...

He has been a journalist for 49 years. He is retiring and this is HIS LAST COLUMN.
Be sure to read the Tax List at the end.

This is about as clear and easy to understand as it can be. The article below is completely neutral, neither anti-republican or
democrat.  Charlie Reese, a retired reporter for the Orlando Sentinel, has hit the nail directly on the head, defining clearly
who it is that in the final analysis must assume responsibility for the judgments made that impact each one of us every day.  It's a
short but good read.  Worth the time.  Worth remembering!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

        545 vs. 300,000,000 People         -By Charlie Reese

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?

Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don't propose a federal budget. The President does.

You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.

You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.

You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.

You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one President, and nine Supreme Court justices equates to 545 human beings out of the 300
million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its
Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce
a senator, a congressman, or a President to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in
cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to
determine how he votes.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common
con regardless of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall.  No normal human being would have the gall
of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating  deficits. The President can only propose a budget. He
cannot force the Congress to accept it.

The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and
approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? John Boehner. He is the leader of the majority party. He and fellow
House members, not the President, can approve any budget they
want.  If the President vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if
they agree to.

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million cannot replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of
incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people.
When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal  government, then it must follow that what
exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.

If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.

If the Army & Marines are in Iraq and Afghanistan it's because they want them in  Iraq and Afghanistan ...

If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not  available to the people, it's because they want it that way.

There are no insoluble government problems.

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts
and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all,
do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation," or "politics" that

 

prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they  alone, are responsible. They, and they alone, have the power.

They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses.

Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees...

We should vote all of  them out of office and clean up their mess!

Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando   Sentinel  Newspaper.

What you do with this article now that you have read it... is up to you.
This might be funny if it weren't so  true. Be sure to read all the way to the end:

                                Tax his land,
                                Tax his bed,
                                Tax the table,
                                At which he's fed.

                                Tax his tractor,
                                Tax his mule,
                                Teach him taxes
                                Are the rule.

                                Tax his work,
                                Tax his pay,
                                He works for
                                peanuts anyway!

                                Tax his cow,
                                Tax his goat,
                                Tax his pants,
                                Tax his coat.

                                Tax his ties,
                                Tax his shirt,
                                Tax his work,
                                Tax his dirt.

                                Tax his tobacco,
                                Tax his drink,
                                Tax him if he
                                Tries to think.

                                Tax his cigars,
                                Tax his beers,
                                If he cries
                                Tax his tears.

                                Tax his car,
                                Tax his gas,
                                Find other ways
                                To tax his ass.

                                Tax all he has
                                Then let him know
                                That you won't be done
                                Till he has no dough.

                                When he screams and hollers;
                                Then tax him some more,
                                Tax him till
                                He's good and sore.

                                Then tax his coffin,
                                Tax his grave,
                                Tax the sod in
                                Which he's laid...

                                Put these words
                                Upon his tomb,
                               'Taxes drove me
                                to my doom...'

                                When he's gone,
                                Do not relax,
                                Its time to apply
                                The inheritance tax.

Phi Chi Beer Wisdom

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow, I just saw the pics from the April Fools Romeo. What a mix! I'm glad to see Jamie Endrizzi showing up - he is a past president and did a lot for the fraternity as a leader. Hartzheim, haven't seen him since I moved east and he came out for a weekend of forgotten memories. Marc Laczniak was one of my pledges in my first go round as a pledgemaster.

Cool, very cool.

Okay, somehow I need to finish building and get to homecoming...

Chris Couture
--------------------------------------------------------

GOOD CELL PHONE INFORMATION


From Mike Kollross:

 

5 Things You Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do                                                                                              For all the folks with cell phones. (This should be printed and kept in your car, purse, and wallet. Good information to have with you.)     There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.  Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival.     Check out the things that you can do with it:  FIRST (Emergency) The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an Emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly, this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.  SECOND (Locked Keys in Car) Have you locked your keys in the car? Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone:     If you lock your keys In the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).  Editor's Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell phone!'  THIRD (Hidden Battery Power) Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#. Your cell phone will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell phone next time.  FOURTH (How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?) To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following Digits on your phone:                                                                         *#06#.  A 15-digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. If your phone is stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.  And Finally....  FIFTH (Free Directory Service for Cells) Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 information calls when they don't have to. Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial:                                  (800) FREE411   or   (800) 373-3411   without incurring any charge at all.  Program this into your cell phone now. This is sponsored by McDonalds.  This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so pass it on to your family and friends.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From Ron Bailey and Gregg Zaremba- A Prayer to St. Green Bay:
"The Cheesehead Prayer"
Now I lay me down to bed
A wedge of cheese upon my head
Allegiance to the Packers I promise to keep
and cheer them on while I'm asleep.

If I should die, don't let me wonder,
Just bury me neath the frozen tundra.
But, Lord, before you take my soul,
Let me see the Pack in one more Super Bowl.

Forgive me Lord, for those I hated,
The Lions and Vikings, they're overrated.
The streets of heaven, so I've been told,
Are paved for us in green and gold.

If I get to heaven I'll have only one wish,
A big screen TV with a satellite dish.
I pray for this Lord, for only one reason,
to cheer on my Pack to a winning season.

I'll close this prayer by thanking you Lord,
for listening to me and the time you afford.
But one more thing......please remember the Bears,
Because that's a team that hasn't a prayer!!!

Go Pack!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From:Don Gauerke - A Golf Story
Four Old Men went into the Pro Shop after playing 18 holes of Golf. The Pro
> asked, "Did you have a good game today?" The first old guy said, "Yes, I had
> three riders today.." The second old guy said, "I had the most riders ever, I
> had five." The third guy said, " I had seven riders, the same as last time."
> The last guy said, " I beat my old record, I had twelve riders today."
>
> After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard the old guys
> talking about their round went to the pro and said, " I have been playing golf
> for almost 50 years and I thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but
> what the heck is a rider?"
>
> The pro said, " A rider is when you hit the ball far enough that you get to get
> in the golf cart and ride to it."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: John Walter - A NEW YEAR GREETING:

As we progress through the year 2010, I want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public restroom.
I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.
I can't have a drink in a bar because I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.
I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.
I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.
I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.
AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face. Disfiguring me for life
I no longer go to the movies because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer buy cookies from Woolies since I now have their recipe.
THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up $2.00 coin dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over..
I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician . .
Oh, by the way.....
A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
P. S.: I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.
 
NOW YOU ALL HAVE YOURSELVES AND VERY GOOD DAY…………..AND A HEALTHY LIFE……………. 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


FOX LAKE IL EVENT IN THE 1960'S - BY RON BAILEY AND CRAIG OLSON

Thanks for the update on your version of the Fox Lake Illinois Event, great piece of the puzzle you have provided here. I was driving one car and Ronald "Riley" McDavid was driving the other car. As I recall, Al "Tube" Basile was in that car, they got arrested and he got under the car. While he was hitch hiking home I came along and picked him up. He told us the story and then wouldn't you know it that I would get stopped. i remember him telling co-operating with the cops and telling them the beer was in the trunk, which they promptly confiscated.....Thanks Tube! Then he does it again, going under the car and hitch hiked back to UWW. I agree, I think Scotty bailed us out. I am emailing this to him & others that I share stories with and now will include you in the future. Riley was the only one that got anything out of it, a ticket for driving on the wrong side of the street. If this happened today, we would all still be in prison and the Frat would be off campus!!

Yes, my mom worked for a lawyer who ended up getting us out of that hell night trip to the Fox Lake IL jail! Can't remember it all, but seems like there must have been 7-10 of us...we had one packed car. Just room for us and the beer! I recall when we opened the door for the cop, a full bottle of beer rolled out and broke....great indicator of what the rest of our night was likely to be like!

Birds of a feather flock together . . .   and then poop on your car.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends..

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement .

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are  XL.'

If you think there is good in everybody, you Haven't met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.  For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs...'

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way.  I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.  Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.  Today, it's called golf.

Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth…..    AMEN

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From Brother Dan Alvarez just for the golf outing:
   

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From Brother Heinrich:
 

Whatta you gonna do then?  Pointa to you watch and say, 'Time's Up'?"

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From Brother Rick Cozatt: 
Better known as the Banana Man
A professor at CCNY for a physiological psych class told his
class about bananas. He said the expression "going bananas"
is from the effects of bananas on the brain. Read on:

Bananas contain three natural sugars: sucrose, fructose, and
glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant,
sustained, and substantial boost of energy. Research has
proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a
strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the
number one fruit with the world's leading athletes.

But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit.
It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of
illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our
daily diet.

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND
amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much
better after eating a banana. This is because bananas
contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts
into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood,
and generally make you feel happier.

PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it
contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect
your mood.

Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production
of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high
in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat
blood pressure. So much so, the U.S. Food and Drug
Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make
official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk
of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) School
(England) were helped through their exams this year by
eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to
boost their brain power. Research has shown that the
potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils
more alert.

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet
can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome
the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is
to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana
calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up
depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and
re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the
body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana
for soothing relief.

Morning sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to
keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream,
try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana
skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing
swelling and irritation.

Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins, which help calm the
nervous system.

Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of
Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to
gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at
5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese
were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report
concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we
need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high
carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against
intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and
smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten
without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also
neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating
the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a
"cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and
emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for
example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is
born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD
sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer
tryptophan.

Smoking and tobacco use: Bananas can also help people trying
to give up smoking. The B6 and B12 they contain, as well as
the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body
recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize
the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain, and regulates your
body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic
rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can
be re-balanced with the help of a high-potassium banana
snack.

Strokes: According to research in The New England Journal of
Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut
the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you
want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and
place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully
hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When
you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein,
twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five
times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins
and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the
best value foods around. So maybe its time to change that
well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the
doctor away!"

PS: Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the
time!

I will add one here; want a quick shine on our shoes?? Take
the INSIDE of the banana skin, and rub directly on the
shoe...polish with dry cloth. Amazing fruit !!!
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From Brother Ron Bailey:

From Brother Terry Kranz:

 

HISTORY OF THE GREATEST WORD EVER!

 

HISTORY OF THE GREATEST WORD EVER!

 

FROM BROTHER HEINRICH - LOST HUMOR
Hollywood  Squares: 
These great questions and answers are from the days when '  Hollywood  Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.. 

Q.  Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde:  Loneliness!
 (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. Do female frogs croak? 
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. 

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. 

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. 
A.. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. 

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? 
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. 

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? 
A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning. 

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? 
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency... 

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'? 
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty... 

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'? 
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment. 

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? 
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.  

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? 
A... Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. 

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries Are you going to get any during the first year? 
A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries. 

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? 
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. 

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other? 
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures. 

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? 
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom. 

Q. Can boys join the  Camp   Fire Girls? 
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. 

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? 
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? 

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? 
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.. 

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? 
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. 

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? 
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected. 

Q.. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? 
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. 

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? 
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? 

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? 
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him. 

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? 
A. Charley Weaver: His feet. 

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? 
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

SCAM WARNING FROM BROTHER COZATT:
 HOW HORRIBLE  !!!!!     
 
   Clever Scam - taking advantage of older men
 
 Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it. This will only become more commonplace as the weather warms.  A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Lowe's, Home Depot, or Costco customers. This one caught me by surprise.
 
 Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.
 
 Here's how the scam works:
 
 Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds.
 
 You agree and they get into the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen September 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th,17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also October 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 20th, 21st, 23rd, 24th, 30th and three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.
 
 So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of older men..
 
 Warn your friends to be vigilant.
 
 Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for $1.99 at K- Mart and bought them out. Also, you never will get to eat at McDonalds. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth to Lowe's, Home Depot, and Costco. 


OLD FOLKS TEST FROM BROTHER KEN JENSEN

Old folks Bathtub Test:
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an old person should be put in a nursing home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the old person and ask him or her to empty the bathtub"

"Oh, I understand," I said.. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?

SECURITY TIP FROM BROTHER KOLLROSS

Put your car keys beside your  bed at night.

If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car.  The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turnit off or the car battery dies.  

This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this:  It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it.  It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain.  It works if you park in your driveway or garage.  If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won't stick around.   After a few seconds, all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that. And remember to carry your keys in your hand while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.   

PHI CHI EPSILON AND THE WARS – from Bob Melig

VERY FEW PHI CHI’S ESCAPED WORLD WAR II, NOR FAILED TO KEEP THE REMAINING BROTHERS INFORMED OF THEIR ASSIGNMENTS

 

PHI CHI EPSILON revered every correspondence from the far reaches of the world. A vast file box kept every one.

The most touching and informative were framed and kept in our hallway of honor. The letters on rice paper with a border of red, white and blue while fragile, yet telling. Some were just catching up on new assignments, others of living thru their living Hell. The worst were notices of brothers who would never ever see another Homecoming at Whitewater. (This leg lacy was lost in the fire that destroyed the Fraternity house later – an entire decade to decade to decade recounting and outreach from far flung places thus disappeared. However, for a time, the heartfelt correspondence back to Phi Chi Epsilon inspired more decades thru the unity of shown thousands of miles around our little world of Whitewater

In the ‘60’s each prospective pledge was ushered thru our hall of Honor. A narrow traverse from the entry to the upstairs steps, it was appropriately affixed with the fragile rice paper letters and some pictures framed under glass to preserve the emotions of the moment form which they were written. This walk oozed our traditions, few read the giving thoughts of these brave service men, but still could absorb the tradition that a Local Fraternity could inspire decades later.

As Actives, only a few did not pause to read-in-depth the rice paper letters in the Hall of Honor. Tradition thus translated from one generation to another – no one could deny that Phi Chi MUST continue.

PHI CHI EPSILON contributed hundreds of Officers and leaders to the United States Armed Forces during WWII, Korea, and Vietnam eras – Later our brothers moved into crucial leadership positions to sustain our economy in industry and finance. PHI CHI EPSILON was, is and will be a force for growth of Young Men into the challenges of later life.God Bless our Soldiers!

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From Brother Tim Clark's daughter, Kristi Clark-Miller,  video she produced in memory of her dad(1943-2009).

                                                                    Click here to view

 

 From Brother Hughes:

My nurse friend sent this and encouraged me to post it and spread the word.
I agree.

If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks.
Seriously..

Please read:

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:
During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.    They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening.
     Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00 pm Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die. they end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this...

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke... totally . He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE

Thank God for the sense to remember the '3' steps, STR . Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S * Ask the individual to SMILE.

T * Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently)(i.e. It is sunny out today.

R* Ask him/her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

 

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency number immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

New Sign of a Stroke -------- Stick out Your Tongue
NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue.. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other , that is also an indication of a stroke. 
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 I have done my part. Will you?

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FROM BROTHER HEINRICH